While it’s obvious that we can’t keep getting pissed off, kill people, and such, this is not necessarily true with idle talk. I found the thought of not engaging in any idle talk alien, and probably do a bit right now. When you think about the options:
a) continue with same level of idle talk
b) reduce the level of idle talk
c) increase the level of idle talk
d) stop idle talk entirely
Once you go through these options, it’s easy to understand that ‘d’ is the only reasonable choice. If one should say “well there is a benefit of a certain social aspects of idle talk” then the question is benefit to what, and particularly who. If you agree that idle talk is decremental, a conclusion not too hard to arrive at, then it will remain decremental just the same at any given level. The damage may be different in quantity, but not in quality.
How many times did you see someone killed right before your eyes? How often do you steal? How about idle talk, can you count the total number of cases you witnessed just last week? Idle talk is everywhere.
When something is so common and continuously indulged in by the great majority of people, it’s very hard to see that there is any problem in it. People adapt rapidly to things even with insignificant exposure, and we are very much exposed (and adapted) to idle talk.
The way our social interactions have developed, idle talk is at the very center of it. In the world of sensory pleasures, idle talk is the glue that binds all the desires together. Courtship, friendship, romance, is all idle talk and is also all suffering. Not to say there is anything bad about having friends or a lover.
Idle talk is also a “gateway drug” towards divisive talk, harsh talk or even lying. Most importantly, it seems that idle talk is a great fuel for the wrong view.
There is an advantage in this situation. Because of the popularity of idle talk, we are continuously reminded of where suffering comes from. For example, when you make the decision that you will not kill any sentient beings, and you never really see anyone being killed, the reminders of where suffering is coming become rare. Now the student has learn not to kill, and no longer needs to be reminded about it.
It’s basically impossible to have interactions that are not inclusive of idle talk. Or then the interactions are very short. This is a great opportunity for continuously being reminded about the coarse habitual patterns that we are dealing with in our everyday life.
To more specifically answer this week’s question from the standpoint of how the Four Noble Truths helps me to deal with this, the first and foremost is the awareness. Without the awareness about the seriousness of the current situation (dukkha), I lack the motivation to do what is needed.
Secondly, to understand my own psychological makeup in such a clear way (origin of dukkha), allows looking at things and events as impermanent and suffering. To understand that while the phenomena do exist definitely, it is the I we so fondly associate with, that does not exist and is entirely made up of the phenomena instead, provides tremendous leverage for dealing with the situations as you become aware of them.
The value of the Four Noble Truths teaching is of-course far more over-reaching than an essay could do justice to. I’m deeply grateful for being able to be part of this course and to receive these teachings in such a wonderful way!